Sexuality, my story

So I post these links from Chuck Swindoll remembering my own sinful passions.

As a single mom, I had to surrender that part of me to God. I didn’t surrender to the air or just to myself. I literally asked God in heaven to take my passions, my desires for male companionship and hold them until my wedding night. And he did.

But what I found out on the way to meeting my Boaz was that I was usually only as good as the man I was with. I’m not putting down the Christian men I dated. It is just that they need to also surrender their sexuality.

Sometimes, ladies, we have to lead in that area and be the example of being in control of our passions and sexuality. Yes, I too, wanted to have a man who would lead me in the right way, be pure, and not let his body parts lead our relationship into sexual sin. But at last, an older, wiser woman explained to me that I would have to “Enforce my Boundaries” with the men I met….including the ones in the church.

Ladies, the men in church still need to surrender their passions to the Lord as well. And unfortunately, some have not. It’s a rare man, in my experience who can say, “No”, to sex outside of marriage while in a relationship longer than a couple of days, a couple of weeks and for sure a couple of months. I’ve experienced all three situations.

Those programs on TV showing people having sex on the first date is not far fetched, unfortunately. So how to enforce your boundary of no sex until marriage….

First, you have to establish that boundary within yourself. You have to be committed to that plan of action or “no action”, as it were. You have to realize in a new relationship or even one where you have to pull back, now, that you are responsible for your boundaries. I found it rare to meet a man who would honor my verbal boundary.

This meant I had to make sure I was not left alone too long with a man. Or maybe it wasn’t safe to visit his or my home, alone. Maybe, I just had to watch my fantasy thinking which could get me in the mood before I even saw him.

So know thyself, dear lady. Know who you are. Know what tempts you. Know what is going to far before you might be in trouble. Treasure yourself and know you are WORTH WAITING FOR!!!

You are precious in God’s eyes. You know how I know? Because he sent his only begotten Son to die for you.

Number two. Have an accountability partner. Have someone in your life you can be real with. A confidential friend. Someone who would come and rescue you, if need be.

I once got a call from a friend on a Friday night asking me to come with her to church. She said she was calling so she wouldn’t go out and “screw”. Her words. It’s just that real, ladies. If you don’t have a friend like that, call me, 208-724-1093.

Your purity, your wholeness from this day forward is sacred. Let me help you if you need help. We have a few mentors here at Single Moms Unite! who will pray with you and be there for you.

I have prayed for many ladies from one coast to the other, from the Atlantic ocean to the Pacific ocean for the healing and deliverance in the area of their sexuality. Over 5 women who are still healed and set free from having sex outside of marriage.

Recognize you have a problem or “situation”. Recognize and acknowledge if your family has a history of sexual sin. Repent for you and the whole family. Forgive family members and friends who might have negatively influenced you in the area of sexuality.

And as I close here, for now, recognize that the spiritual world of darkness is working against you to be susceptible to the spirit of or influence of lust and seducing spirit. An influence of seduction can make the ugliest man look appealing to you. And with the right words and touch, you could be a “goner”. You don’t have to “amen” out loud if you don’t want. I have my experience and other’s to confirm this. 🙂

So I pray for you today, my dear Single Mom. I pray you would be in a place of sexual purity, and restored, if needed. I pray you would be free of any ungodly soul ties from current or previous men and women in your lives that negatively influenced you to sin or to have sinful passions. I pray that you would be free! That you would be healed and set free, in Jesus Name!

Let me know if I can help, Dear Lady. And feel free to repost to any friend who might need to hear this. You can send it in an email or private message so as not to broadcast their weakness. Be kind to one another. Be forgiving. And be ready to teach, instruct or lead to a right path, in Jesus Name.

In Christ Name,
Nek’ka M.

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