Hello. My name is Nek’ka Migel. I was a single mom for 16 years. I homeschooled my 2 children from Kindergarten to 12th grade. When they graduated from High School they went directly into college. One got her 2 year certificate in Baking and the other has 4 years and running studying Mechanical Engineer. Both daughters have had their own businesses.
One has done designer baking and the other has a web design business. I would say they were successfully released into the world with many relational skills and the ability to live on their own successfully without my paying their way or having them move back home after college. I am very happy for their success and their ability to make things work for their lives.
Consulting for Single Parents is a dba of Single Moms Unite!, LLC. There is a Facebook page that you and your friends can like: click here. There is a closed Facebook group for single moms: click here and a closed group for single dads: click here.
There are 5 areas for Single Parent consultation.
1. Emotional and Spiritual Stability
2. Child Rearing and Parenting skills
4. Business ideas/Job helps
This consultation process is to help guide you to make your own choices out of the tools I present or the thoughts that come to your mind as I speak and present short stories and local resources available. I am not a Licensed Counselor but can refer you to another place if that is what you need. I am more of a Peer Consultant who has experienced being a single parents and have victory over many areas in my life. I am happy to share these experiences with you as they pertain to your life’s upcoming victories.
The reason I charge a nominal fee is because I have discovered that many people do not respect free. But when there is “skin in the game”, they stay committed to the process or at least to begin the process. Also, my time is valuable and if I travel to meet you in a coffee house, the gas in my car, cost dollars.
If you are here, you have decided to do the work necessary to get you to your next level. So let me hear from you what you think you need. The purpose of having one to one consultations is to get specific information to you for your own life.
Area 1: Emotional and Spiritual stability.
What makes me a good authority on this matter is because I have stable emotions and I can share some ways to think and pray, if you are a praying person, to arrive at stable emotions. I can be a peer consultant for PTSD as I am on my own journey and have made great strides in setting healthy boundaries and being able to enforce them. I can be a peer consultant for alcoholism. I have been 30 years without abusing alcohol and the temptation to drink out of necessity has been gone for 30 years.
I have been a Christian for 30 years and have a good working knowledge of the Christian Holy bible and I have a good relationship with Our Father in Heaven. So I believe I can be a good support in this area as well. For more information on the ministry that I have done in my 30 years of being a Christian, I will refer you to the Video Resume for my being a Prayer Intercessor. I also have a written copy if desired in my Chaplains for Businesses Newsletter.
So, what is your why for wanting to have greater emotional and spiritual well being? How would this stability help you to get to your next level in life? Part of this consultation requires you to think about your life and where you want to go. My job is to help you in the good direction that you have chosen already. So let’s get started.
Across the nation, there are a variety of organizations that can help you.
1. Stephen’s Ministry is designed to come along a gender to gender person going through an issue of life that is not too extreme yet it might be painful such as the death of a spouse or other love one, a divorce or you just can’t seem to keep working.
2. Celebrate Recovery helps a person deal with their hurts, habits and hangups. It is here that I gained a year of setting healthy boundaries and I continue to work on procrastination and fear. They also help with alcohol and substance abuse like a secular AA meeting might. Celebrate Recovery is Christian based.
3. National Abuse Hotline is 800-799-7233. The call is anonymous and they are trained very well to hear your situation before responding verbally on the phone. When I have called, they have never steered me wrong.
4. Healing Rooms are all over the USA. This is another place you can get Christian prayer in addition to the prayer time you might have at your local church. All Prayer Intercessors are vetted before they are allowed to serve.
And in your individual city there are other organizations that give a person a hand up. In the Boise area, there is
1. Weekly prayer available at Sacred Heart Catholic Church. They offer Christian prayers.
2. F.A.C.E.S. for classes on abuse and self defense. 208-577-4403
3. WCA for the abused woman or man, call 208-343-3688. They have a number of resources such as a financial literacy class and a court advocate to make suggestions for how you can get further help on your legal case.
I am also familiar with a number of church denominations and would be happy to share that knowledge if you are looking for a new church home.
Here are a few questions to ask yourself before I send the official survey that you will email back to me before we do the one to one consultation.
What is your purpose in life? Do you know your top priorities in life? What is your vision?
This concludes the introduction to the first area of Consulting for Single Parents in the area of Emotional and Spiritual Stability. Stay tuned for the introduction to Child Rearing/Parenting.
As you can probably see, these questions and scenarios could fit any people group regardless of marital status. My why in life is to give back to single parents. I was helped so much as a single mom that I want to help other single parents. I have already helped a number of single parents and maybe, just maybe, I can help you, too.
Donate to Single Moms Unite!, LLC providing scholarships for Single Parents to benefit from Consulting for Single Parents
in Christ Name,
(moms and dads)
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3 to 6 Ways To NOT Worry
My first three tips for not worrying are
#1. Trust God according to Proverbs 3:5-6, which says,
5 “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
6 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”
#2 tip is that you are not suppose to worry about tomorrow according to the bible at Matthew 6:34 which says, “Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day [is] the evil thereof.”
My #3 tip is to ask yourself if all of your needs are met today. Then reflect on Psalms 23. The very first verse says, “The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.” when I Look at Philippians 4:6-7 – “Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.”, I can’t help but think of a fourth tip.
#4 tip is Be Thankful. Because after all, 1 Peter 5:7 says, “Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.” And 2 Timothy 1:7 says, “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” #5 tip is to remember that fear does not come from God. Personally, I could have fear myself, right now, not knowing where my next client is going to come from and if they will sign up for my services. So I go back to my own #1 tip to Trust God with all my heart and to acknowledge Him in all my ways. I have to remember and acknowledge that is is God who gives me power to get wealth as it states in Deuteronomy 8:18. And my situation, my #2 tip to not worry about January’s rent because that is tomorrow’s worry and December’s rent is already paid. And for #3, all of my needs are met today with gas in my car, food in my cupboards, I have clean clothes and I am in pretty good health even as I get over this cold.
So if God said he was going to supply all of my needs according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:19), I have to count on that, believe that and not doubt those words. CAN YOU?
I love Isaiah 26:3 which says, “Thou wilt keep [him] in perfect peace, [whose] mind [is] stayed [on thee]: because he trusteth in thee.” Couple that with the new testament verse of Philippians 4:7 which says, “And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”
So #6 tip is to Start Asking. Matthew 7:7 says to, “Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:”
So why are your worrying? Because it feels so big and almost overwhelming, I would imagine. I can relate to that. I have broken out in a rash over worry until the LORD had to tell me to cut it out.
Have you seen that Bob Newhart video called, “Stop it”? Check it out at on my Youtube playlist for Motivational videos: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ow0lr63y4Mw&list=PL7sD-JVPZtCVxJRbo8LT33SsSXBEuX9v2&index=15&t=7s or
I realize it might not be that simple as in this video. So I challenge to quote these scriptures to yourself for the next 10 to 30 days by putting your name in the scripture. Make it personal to you. Make it a personal prayer for your situation by praying the scriptures of God back to God who said his word would not return void, as it says in Isaiah 55:11 “So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it.”
See how you feel after a month of quoting these scriptures.
If you are a believer in Jesus Christ this is one way to renew your mind to the things of God and to renew your mind from the thinking of the world. The world has lots of worry and anxiety in it.
This is Nek’ka Migel and I would be happy to pray for you and your needs. Because the scripture also talks about the power of 2 or 3 gathered in his name in Matthew 18, verse20 “For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.”
Dear Single Parent, I was a single mom for 16 years and my time was not without worry. I worried so much that I broke out in a rash until the LORD convicted me to story worrying.
When my income was only about $560 and my rent was $330, I simply worried. Yet when I started trusting the LORD, he provided for all my needs miraculously every month by the 15th of each month that my income was so low. I did not have a car and those expenses during that time. I did have two growing children and there was other debt to be paid. God was faithful to me and I pray you trust Him to be faithful to you during this time of your life. If you are on Facebook, check out the Consulting for Single Parents page that also has the individual groups listed for single moms or single dads.
Donate to Single Moms Unite!, LLC providing scholarships for Single Parents to benefit from Consulting for Single Parents
If you are a small business owner and have considered having a Prayer Intercessor for your business like the big corporations do, go to my Facebook page at Chaplains for Businesses.
I have landing pages for Single Parents or Small Business Owners on this site where anyone can sign up to be on the mailing list for emailed newsletters.
Thanks for stopping by. I hope you were encouraged.
My last post was titled: Would Schools Benefit from Having a Chaplain.
The scriptures used in this post came from https://www.kingjamesbibleonline.org/Bible-Verses-About-Worry-And-Anxiety/ and https://www.biblegateway.com/
Matthew 6:25-34 – Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment? (Read More…)
Philippians 4:6 – Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.
Philippians 4:13 – I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.
Matthew 6:34 – Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day [is] the evil thereof.
Philippians 4:19 – But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.
John 16:33 – These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.
Matthew 6:27 – Which of you by taking thought can add one cubit unto his stature?
Romans 8:28 – And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to [his] purpose.
In Christ Name,
Single Moms, Join the closed Facebook ladies group at Single Moms Unite!, LLC Group with the purple logo.
Single dads, join the closed group at Consulting for Single Dads Group.
Like and have your friends like the page, Consulting for Single Parents to get awareness.
10 Ways to Develop Community for a Single Mom
Do you desire to have more friends, dear Single Mom? Do you want to increase your current community? Here are 10 tips that can help you develop your community.
1. Are you a single mom? Be confident in yourself as a single mom. You do not have to have all the answers at once. Be confident in what you do know. Being confident may make some woman avoid you out of their own insecurity. Though, I have found that confidence draws the right people to you…people who will be attracted to your confidence and strength.
This same confidence and strength could keep that “fly by night” guy away from you. Men who are takers sometimes recognize women who are not playing games and they tend to want to stay away. Still be wise when people come around you.
To be honest with you, sometimes as a single mom, I did not feel confident. So I would put on the face and the countenance like I was a force to reckon with. I faked it until I could make it. Until I could make the confidence work for me.
2. Wait for your own man. Don’t give another woman any reason to doubt your professional relationship with her husband. Your spiritual relationship with the Pastor should be above board as well. Wait on God. He has the right man for you.
I believe there is a man for every woman and a man in every city or area for that woman even if she moves. At least that is what I believed for myself as a single mom.
One of the things that I did when someone’s husband was helping me with mechanical things on my car or fixing my dryer, I would call the wife after the husband left and thank her for her husband’s time and effort. And I would let her know that her husband was on his way back home. Just keeping it above board.
3. Train your children at home on how to behave in public. Yes, you can practice with your kids teaching them how to sit quietly, how to interrupt politely and at appropriate times by waiting until you are done talking or the other person is done talking.
Train your children how to be ready on time to leave the home so that you are not using them as the reason you are constantly late. And that might mean training yourself.
In developing community, you will have more opportunities to take your kids with you. And that is okay. As a single mom, you do not always need a babysitter to attend some adult events of interest.
So when my kids were 3 and 4 years old, we would practice sitting on the couch like we were in church or at a performance of some kind. I would give the kids there own paper and pencil. I would tell them to sit quietly for a certain amount of time. And I told them they were practicing for when we went out in public.
Another training piece that I did for the young ones was to have them stand by the door and not move. I would walk away and tell them to just stay there. They would squirm and want to run to me smiling and laughing. But I explained to them that if they were ever in danger, in a position where they needed to stay until I said it was safe, I needed to know that they would obey.
So an incident did happen while I was visiting a friend and my little one got outside the gate across the street. The child stayed until someone brought her safely back across the street. I shudder to think of what could have happened if I had not trained my kids at home.
4. Budget for a small amount each month or every other month to take your kids to McDonald’s or somewhere. So when the opportunity comes up with others, you can go out for ice cream, let’s say after church or after a sporting event. This way you are not breaking your budget just to make everyone happy and for once (or twice) you get to pay for your own kids. I am telling you, it is a good feeling. Now, I understand the mom who is going from check to check and you can’t possibly see how to do this.
I was that way too. I once told the kids, “One day, we will be able to go to that restaurant!” Eventually, I was able to budget for $10 a month to take the three of us out. That meant happy meals but it was a start.
So don’t feel guilty when you take your kids out. I did. It was like I didn’t want anyone to see that I was going through the drive thru to spend $10 a month on me and my family for the value meals. Now I can spend $10 a week.
5. In developing community and building confidence, how you dress is important. You might be okay with low top blouses or hip hugger pants showing your waist. And for now, that might be all you have. But they do still make classic waist pants and there are plenty of them in the thrift stores and consignment shops. Look for non revealing blouses that are tasteful for the modern girl. I am not suggesting you look like your grandmother in your clothing.
I can tell you as a minister to women for over 10 years or really closer to 20 years, it is very hard to talk to a lady when all “the girls” are practically out of her top. Tuck it in ladies. Cover it up. It is not for sale and don’t be giving it away. This way, when you meet a nice couple who wants to befriend you and your kids, how you dress could take away immediate doubts to your motives and character. Yes, people will try to size you up based on how you dress. We live in a suspicious generation.
So remember, we are talking about making friends, increasing our community and hopefully having fun along the way. And while these are only suggestions, I can tell you that I have so much community and I get compliments all the time for the tasteful way I dress.
So I am not telling you anything I am not willing to live myself. I got another chance to minister to the public and the leader encouraged me to continue dressing just the way I had been. To me, that was a compliment. And as my children were turning into teenagers, I encouraged them to dress modestly as well. And now one of my kids speak all over the nation on stage before hundreds maybe thousands of people. Their dress is modest yet tasteful and age appropriate.
6. In being confident, it is good to go out when at the top of your game. You know what makes you feel good and vibrant. If you don’t, find out what it is. For instance, I did not go to the single’s group when I was not at the top of my game. Because while I am looking to build my community of single friends, some are not looking to be friends. Some are not looking to add positive-ness to my life. It is unfortunate. But so true.
So case in point, one day I did go to the single’s group. I was minding my own business when I was approached by another single lady. She begin asking me about a former intended that she apparently dated in the past and the conversation just went downhill real fast. I was stunned and really appalled at the gall of a person to cast aspersions on others. To so blatantly gossip and tear down a person I dated and still had feelings for. It was her choice to share her own pain and experiences with me. But it is up to me in how I respond.
So my response was something like this: I believe every person has some good in them. And when I meet people including men, I hope that they are better people from having met me. That they gained something from our interactions. I also reminded her that if we don’t teach men how to treat a woman in general then they will continue to date and treat women badly.
She said to me, Good for you!
Well, I must have been at the top of my game that night to have responded so succinctly and not get dragged down in telling my woeful stories to match hers and her bad experience with this man. I chose not to go there…to the bad side. Are we still together? Nope! Did he learn anything while spending time with me? I do believe so. I believe he actually grew as an individual.
7. Is your plate too full? In building community around you, be aware if you can handle any other obligations or commitments. Sometimes we want friends so bad that we agree to spend more time than we have. We might join a group or committee when we might already be tired and full of needed activities. You need to know yourself to know if you can handle MORE. If you can not handle more, wait for better timing. I believe God has great timing for adding the right people to our lives and the right activities.
8. Be true to thine own self. You have to know your self to be true to yourself…to not compromise your own values. Many people have a list of things either mental or written down of things that they need to do everyday or every week. Some even have a list of things that cannot be in their lives.
For me, it is necessary that I pray every day, read my bible daily and exercise daily. Of course I need to eat daily but I also fast weekly. Those are my rules of life. Another rule is to not lie, cheat or steal. I have to stay on top of that because the temptation of subtle lies, cheating and stealing could creep in one’s life. Like taking the pen from the cashier at the grocery store…if they did not give it to you to have. Cheating at the stop light or stop sign by running a yellow light that obviously is going to turn red on you or the stop sign that you rolled through. Lies of omission where you just leave out the rest of the details making someone come to an erroneous conclusion.
That’s what I mean by it could happen in such a subtle way that you don’t realize it is happening at first. But to correct it when you realize it, so that what you do and say are really a good representation of who you are, of your character.
We often think of what others might think of us. But what do we think of ourselves? What do we believe about ourselves? Is it true? Do we keep our word to ourselves? Are we women of integrity when we are all alone?
9. Do not be so eager to share your struggle as a single mom too soon. You might think, really? Why not? You can share that with your existing community of close friends. When developing community, new people sometimes already have their own ideas of who you are because you are a single mom. And when they meet you, within seconds, they decide if they like you or not and you might not have said your first word yet.
So I caution you to not let the first words you speak to new people be about your struggles as a single mom. Be Holy spirit led in what you share. If it is too personal, it could turn people away because they might not want to reciprocate in being as vulnerable about their personal life. Also, I have learned that in building relationships, you need to build a foundation that can be strong enough to hold certain information and facts about our lives.
I’ll give you an example: I was talking to a lady friend of mine who had had an argument with a man and it turned out bad. There was blood involved and alcohol. If this lady had told me that story when we first met, I might have been apprehensive that if she had too much alcohol around me and she got mad, I wondered if there would be blood involved.
As I developed a relationship with this lady and we shared stories with each other and visited one another’s home and she had my girls over for a special “girly” birthday party, by the time that story actually happened, I knew the character of her as a friend and I knew to just be patient and be there for her as a friend. I was not suddenly afraid for my life or my girls when she came around because I had taken that time to build a foundation of friendship. We had built a strong enough foundation to be able to handle that incident that involved alcohol and blood with that other person.
The same thing happened with women who were having men issues. If they had started out with that information like it was an identity name tag, we might not have been friends because it would have violated my list of what not to have in my life, which is sleeping around. Sorry! That is on my list of do not’s, forever and a day.
So to be around someone doing that is not someone that I would be looking to for adding to my community of like minded individuals. Yet I have met wonderful women who just needed to surrender that area of their life to God and ask God for help to not do that any more. I got to be friends with these ladies before the story of their struggle came out in our relationship. I prayed with them. I was their friend.
And guess what? They got delivered from that lifestyle. It had become a habit for them whether with just one man or more. It was something that had to be dealt with. And because I got to KNOW THEM before I KNEW THEIR STRUGGLE, I was able to handle the information.
So I hope you can relate to what I am saying and think of a struggle you might have and it could be an issue for a friendship. And it is not that you are trying to be deceptive or hide who you really are. But your new relationship might not be strong enough to hold the information that WILL BE disclosed eventually but at a better time. Because with some information, there never seems to be the RIGHT TIME to talk about some things but there is a better time.
Here is a way that you can test the waters in creating a safe environment in friendship and community: share just a little bit of information. Watch their reaction. See if they are trying to one up your story or show that there is common struggle or interest in helping. Or you might see that they are offended by that little bit of information you shared.
Be careful with your pearls. And yes, some of your struggles are pearls in that they could be working to make you a wonderful masterpiece, increasing your faith and so on. You might see it as a test. And your kids are watching you to see how you deal with this struggle. So remember, it came to pass. This, too, shall pass…if you let it. Learn from it!
And last but not least,
10. Don’t judge others so quickly. Though they might judge you, be slow to get to know who people really are. When I meet people, I ask myself who they remind me of so that I don’t confuse the two people though they seem so similar in looks or ways. Some people hit it off right away.
Are you ever instant friends? Usually not. Stay in the acquaintance mode until you have enough time observing them and they you, before you call them a friend. I had to remind my kids of that when they were younger. And some adults I am around use that word, friend, so freely and I just wonder…are those people you are speaking of, are they really your friends?
I have been amazed at how many women I have met and just knew they were my new best friends. Not! The “holes”, the struggles in their lives were revealed as we got to know one another.
So don’t be quick to judge a book by it’s cover. It might feel good when you meet them. But every one should go through the proving ground…usually. God has his fast assignments sometimes where you get to know someone quickly for a God purpose. And he will reveal that to you. I’ve had that happen more than once.
For me, it was a crisis around the corner usually in her life and we had to become quick friends so that I would be in the right place at the right time to be a help in the time of need. God knew they would turn to me and they did. Sometimes the friendship continued and other times it did not. It depended on how big the crisis was and if all parties could “bounce” back into a normal friendship after the crisis was over.
In not judging too quickly, don’t let a woman’s clothes and car they drive have you making the wrong assumptions. They could be one payment from repossession driving the latest SUV or they could be millionaire driving the oldest car you’ve seen in a long while. Watch the jealousy.
Try not to prejudge. They may have wisdom you know not of and be the one who is there when no one else is. Or they could have “nothing” upstairs and you can never get a reading on them because there is nothing to read.
Don’t judge. Just ask God what his purpose is for your relationship with these dear ladies no matter where they are in life… struggling, doing well, brainy, rich or poor.
If you have read this article all the way to the end, you might be the type that ends up “having the goods” for most of the people around you. You might think, really? Once again you might question, I am in a more stable position than this new person? It is sometimes about how we can help not how someone can help us. Some Times! And why not?
We all have gifts and callings. We have something to add to this place called earth with millions and millions of people. There will always be someone who knows less than us in some area of life that we can share with. There will always be someone who could benefit from our prior experiences. So be open to being the one who will share, encourage, enlighten and spread hope.
My “passion” for community in my personal life is seen through my “Why” for doing business and also is implemented as an asset in my business world of creating community among other entrepreneurs and independent associates, especially single mom entrepreneurs.
Identify some single mom business owners and independent associates and commissioned reps who would want more exposure. You can share their social media post sometimes.
Dear Single Mom, you may have much more than you realize.
Share it! Share the good you have!
Be a positive influence on the ones around you, old and new. Young and old!
My name is Nek’ka Migel and it has been my delight to share with you 10 ways to develop community as a single mom. And finally after years and years of praying to live life with people, I have lots of community (people that I live life with) and I am enjoying my community almost daily. I like my private times by myself. And I know my community is just a text away, a phone call away and the next visit is just hours away. If you have been encouraged by this post, please share it!
In Christ Name,
Founder of Single Moms Unite!, LLC and
also known as SMU!
Join the closed Facebook group at Single Moms Unite! with the purple logo. Like and have your friends like the page, Single Moms Unite!, LLC to get awareness.
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We have to watch that we don’t let resentment grow in our lives so we don’t become bitter and/or hateful. Sometimes we get into unforgiveness towards others or because of a situation. We have to watch that we don’t blame God if it wasn’t His doing.
I had given up my career for the moment to raise my two babies. I had closed my business. I had given up my three bedroom home on the corner lot. I had to leave a city I adored…all because other peoples’ choices around me and that became the will of the LORD for my life at that moment.
I could have kept resenting my ex for leaving me with two babies in diaper. I could have kept resenting that I was in my late forties still raising minor children. I could have resented God for letting all of that happen to me.
There was an opportunity to have resentment at a person and God. And there was an opportunity to have resentment for a situation. I had to let it go and forgive. I chose to move on and be better.
What are the choices laying before you?
Repeat after me, “I Choose to Succeed!”
One way to SUCCEED, is to not hold on to resentment or unforgiveness. In accepting the current situation, it does not mean you have to stay there. It just gives you a point of reference to move on. Journal about it. Tell a friend who could help you move on from this point.
Choose to be better and not bitter!
Make it a great day in business and your personal life!
Choose to Succeed Referral Marketing.
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