Who are you?
Day 10 journal of my 30 day Minimalist Challenge
On 1-5-2020, I was reminded that I need accountability. I never voiced this until recently.
My mother never checked on me because she knew I would land on my feet.
In listening to the audiobook,
13 Things Mentally Strong Women Don’t Do [electronic resource] / by Amy Morin,
I realized that I have been living my life this way… without accountability. I’m the one who checks on others. And I never required, requested or demanded that people look in on me… to check up on my status in one area or another.
Even my husband has seen me as a Super Woman! I did have two lady friends around 2014 who were good at checking up on me. And when they moved away, I was devastated. Though I couldn’t understsnd my deep grief over their departure.
It was stemmed back to the familial saying, “Nek’ka always lands on her feet”. These two ladies gave me what I was missing… then they were gone.
I mentioned this a few days ago, in my minimalist challenge blog, that I’ve hired a couple of coaches for 2020. The year for praises and not complaints. So I’m incorporating my own helps and hand holding.
I’ve had mentors over the past 20 years and while I was given assignments, so many other areas of my life were unattended to or overlooked.
In Amy’s book, she was relaying a story of how a women’s family of origin had nicknames for all the kids and she was living up to hers even subconsciously. This woman didn’t examine her life to see if that label resonated with who she identified as an individual.
And I never shook off that label, “she’ll always land on her feet”. It’s good to know or believe that. But how is that suppose to happen?
When I land on my feet, are my ankles sometimes twisted? Did I break my legs landing on my feet because I had no assistance? I never saw negative in that statement. I was just doing my best to live up to that expectation.
Don’t get me wrong, I have some really good friends that I can call when needed. And we’re all busy with our daily lives. When I see them, we all get caught up on the latest happenings and have a good laugh. And then I go back to my world of “landing on my feet”… alone, as it were.
What childhood or early adult nicknames or statements are you trying to live up to? Do they resonate with your true identity, your core being? Write your comments below.
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