How to Think Better

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How to Think Better

Here is this week’s personal and business educational opportunity.  One way to increase wealth is to increase intelligence:  what you know or don’t know can make a difference.

Watch at least 5 videos from “How to think better” on YouTube.  They include speakers like Les Brown, Jim Rohn, Earl Nightingale and Earl Shoaff.

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL7sD-JVPZtCVK0bw-8DEPNWop0Uj8OpwL

You can subscribe to my YouTube channel here:  https://www.youtube.com/user/myyoumovie

Let me know if you were inspired to take action in your life or business after watching these videos.  Subscribe to my channel for when new videos are added.

The last article was entitled, What Are You Learning This Week?   You can find it here: http://choose-to-succeed.org/what-are-you-learning-this-week/

Below are the links to the landing pages to contact me for a one to one meeting or sign up for specific newsletter(s):

Chaplains for Businesses | Consulting for Single Parents | Choose to Succeed Referral Marketing

Clip Art by Nek’ka | watch videos about low cost Legal help then contact me at migel29.legalshield@gmail.com

or here.

Book a one to one session with Nek’ka today, in person or on the phone!

Find me on social media:  my links are below.

Thanks for Stopping By.

Sincerely and 

In Christ Name,

Nek’ka Migel

choose-to-succeed.org

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Are you a patient with your friends?

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Are you a patient with your friends?

Do you find yourself “always” spilling your guts out to your friends, co-workers, family members and even strangers? 

Do you really think they have an answer for you or that they care to hear all of these problems you have? 

Sometimes, we share out of desperation.  But I challenge you to find the right times to share and the right people.  Don’t be everyone’s “patient”. 

Some people will get tired of it.  Others could be using it as gossip material.  Others feel better when they hear of your problems.   

Start distinguishing who really cares and who is safe to share some things with…and not all things in your life.   If you are an open book with everyone, you might want to close some of those chapters.

I challenge you to check your past conversations to see if you have been positioning yourself as the patient in other people’s lives, whether consciously or unconsciously. 

Wake up!  This is not a dream but real life.   

I was recently convicted of this myself.   

Here are a few rules of what to do.  I believe you will see from these rules what not to do. 

1. Think about the person you are with.  Do they care about your personal life?  Do they care about your business life?  Do they care about your money issues? 

2. Do they have answers for the current struggle you are in?  If they do, is this the appropriate time to talk about it?  Have you asked their permission to discuss it or have they given you permission to discuss it? 

3. How do you feel after you share your “stuff” with them?  Bad, worse, better or the same? 

If you feel worse, that might be a sign they are the wrong person to share this situation with, and you may need to reevaluate your sharing with this person.  At least, the parts that you just shared.  Some people require more filters than others.  Meaning, you can share many things with some people, but not all things with all people.

You can find another who is MORE qualified to share with. 

Speaking things out loud can help you.  But choose your listeners wisely. 

I hope these three tips are helpful and will help you to not chase away your friends, co-workers or family members.  There are plenty of good counselors and psychologists and listening volunteers that can listen to you if you just need to speak about your issues.  There are plenty of people to help you find solutions that might not be your personal friend, co-worker or family member.  If you suspect abuse, you can call the National Abuse Hotline, 24 hours, to talk to an anonymous person.

As a Stephen Minister, I am trained to listen to others and not try to fix them.  As a Chaplain with Chaplains for Businesses, I am trained to pray for spiritual guidance with a small business owners.  As a former single mom of 16 years, I can be a good listening ear pointing the single parent to other referrals for their situation…IF I DON’T HAVE AN ANSWER for them.   

So, the next time you find yourself wanting to tell the gory details, think about who you are speaking with.  Do they care?  Can they help?  Is this the right time to talk to them?  How did you feel afterwards?

Who’s the patient?  You or them?  Give the people around you this article so they can stop being YOUR patient.  I bet you have some patients, too! 

My name is Nek’ka Migel and it has been my pleasure to share some of life challenges with you.  I hope you got something out of reading this article.

Below are the links to the landing pages to contact me for a one to one meeting or sign up for specific newsletter(s):

Chaplains for Businesses | Consulting for Single Parents | Choose to Succeed Referral Marketing

Clip Art by Nek’ka | watch videos about low cost Legal help then contact me at migel29.legalshield@gmail.com

or here.

Book a one to one session with Nek’ka today, in person or on the phone!

Find me on social media:  my links are below.

Thanks for Stopping By.

Sincerely and 

In Christ Name,

Nek’ka Migel

choose-to-succeed.org

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What are you learning this week?

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What are you learning this week?

Here is this week’s business educational training opportunity.

My challenge to you is to pick out 5 episodes this week.  They are each about 45 minutes long.  The website is:  http://www.sidehustlepro.co/category/podcast/

http://www.sidehustlepro.co/ebonypope/

Today, I (Nek’ka) listened to episode 98 with Ebony Pope who is the “Director of US Ventures at Village Capital. She oversees Village Capital’s work in finding and supporting US start-ups in the five sectors that receive investment from Vilcap Investments.”

Ebony worked at “New Urban Learning, a charter education management company focused on preparing Detroit students to successfully graduate from four-year colleges and universities. She is also a former Googler and holds a B.B.A in Finance from Howard University.”

Links mentioned on this episode.

  * Sponsors for Educational Opportunities
* Village Capital
* Achievement First
* Pipeline Angels

More links are mentioned on the podcast page at http://www.sidehustlepro.co/ebonypope/ as well as Ebony’s social media links.

Click here to subscribe via RSS feed (non-iTunes feed): http://sidehustlepro.libsyn.com/rss

Side hustle does have an app.

If you’re looking for a community of supportive side hustlers who are all working to take our businesses to the next level, join us here: http://sidehustlepro.co/facebook

Connect on Instagram:

Side Hustle Pro – @sidehustlepro

#SideHustlePro

♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

I hope you are inspired and challenged in your learning this week.  They say the average growing entrepreneur reads 2 books per week.  So listening to 5 episodes should be a cinch, for you!

Next article in the series is:

How to Think Better

Below are the links to the landing pages to contact me for a one to one meeting or sign up for specific newsletter(s):

Chaplains for Businesses | Consulting for Single Parents | Choose to Succeed Referral Marketing

Clip Art by Nek’ka | watch videos about low cost Legal help then contact me at migel29.legalshield@gmail.com

or here.

Book a one to one session with Nek’ka today, in person or on the phone!

Find me on social media:  my links are below.

Thanks for Stopping By.

Sincerely and 

In Christ Name,

Nek’ka Migel

choose-to-succeed.org

Join Swagbucks!
You Can Get Free Gift Cards For Shopping, Searching and Discovering What’s Online at Swagbucks.com

 

Find me on Social Media by clicking one of these links:

Follow me on Twitter      Follow me on Instagram

Follow me on Pinterest    Find me on LinkedIn

Follow me on Google Plus    Follow me on Medium 

Watch videos on my YouTube playlist

 Follow Consulting for Single Parents on Facebook

 Follow Chaplains for Businesses on Facebook

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#chaplains #iloveyou #singleparents #iforgiveyou #singleparentsupport #iamsorry #prayer #thankyou #choosetosucceed #hope #encouragement #pray #God #Jesus #healing #nextlevel #bethechange #video #intercession #prayerintercession #chaplainsforbusinesses #podcast #weekly #choosetosucceed #learning

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4 Ways to Improve Communications and Build Trust with a Single Parent

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4 Ways to Improve Communication and  Build Trust with a Single Parent

 

My name is Nek’ka Migel.  I was born in Cleveland Ohio.  I have been a Christian since 1987. I started Single Moms Unite, LLC ask the Lord direct me.   I was single mom for 16 years.  My ex husband left me after 16 years of marriage with 2 babies in diapers. By the time the divorce was final it was 17 years of marriage. 

My homeschooled children are grown now, and they are 23 and 24.   I graduated them from home school high school after 12 years of home schooling from Kindergarten through 12th grade. The younger has finished their 2 year college getting their 2 year certificate in baking and pastry. The older has done four years of college in mechanical engineering. In their sophomore year, they introduced President Obama in 2015 at Boise State University.  Also if you fly out of the Boise airport you might have seen their picture on the BSU mural in the  upper airport walkway.   

A little about me:

My personal background has been in finances.  I have worked as a loan processor processing home mortgages . And I was a credit supervisor in an independent credit card processing company, approving or declining business applications for owners to use a credit card POS machine to accept credit cards in their business. 

My ministry walk has included services such as being prayer counselor for over 6 years, a women’s 1-1  Discipler for over 5 years, leading them in a Bible study while we dealt with a current crisis in their life from drug abuse to divorce, marital separation, and mental issues, to name a few.

I was a prayer intercessor in the healing Rooms of Lompoc, California as well as in Boise, Idaho. I was a prayer warrior for the order of Saint Luke the Physician (OSL) in Yuma Arizona before moving to Boise in 2008,  as the Lord led.  I became a Convener for the OSL shortly after arriving in Boise, teaching a healing class for 4 years in one  of the newest Boise healing chapter.  I have taught a few sessions of Boundaries to a class of single moms and I’ve been a MOPS Mentor Mom for moms with preschool age kids. So I do have experience praying for and counseling women.

As a single mom, one hard lesson and that I had to learn was how to accept help. I was used to being the one who gave help or a hand out.  I was not needing to ask for anything.  It was a blow to my pride and ego to have to say, yes, to others offering help to me.  It took me some time to fully accept that I needed help and that getting help was not bad.

One experience that I had was when I drove to Tennessee for my girls to see their father.   While in Tennessee, my drivers window was smashed out, the night before I was to return home to Ohio.  My church family in Ohio, told me that if I could drive the car back, they would help to fix it.  And of course the day that I was driving back, it was raining quite a bit.  I had to get plastic to block me from getting all wet.  I was so grateful for my church family who came to my rescue.

One of the things that is provided in Single Moms Unite!, LLC (SMU!) and Consulting for Single Parents is providing information where single parents can go for help.  The organization of SMU! should not just be a place that is simply giving handouts.  The Boise area has a wealth of resources. We are striving to help single parents with a hand up to their next level. 

As a network marketer, I have learned that it is important to know my WHY.  While at a women’s Meet and Mingle with Joan Endicott as the speaker, she asked if we could do anything to help someone else, what would that be?  I thought, I would like to help moms.  And since then, I have branched out to helping all single parents, not just the single moms. 

In May 2014, I started with the concept of Single Moms Unite!, eventually feeling led of the LORD to make it an LLC.  Single Moms Unite!, LLC helps parents to get their wills done stating their guardianship preference for their minor children.  SMU! Also gives information about a free life insurance that turns into an educational trust fund if the parent qualifies, were they to pass away leaving minor children. 

The ultimate goal of SMU!, LLC is to help parents start their own business so that they can be home more with their kids especially as the kids get older.  I have heard it said more than once that as kids enter Junior High, they need their parents even more so. 

Since starting SMU!, I have met with a number of women one to one to encourage them with prayer and advice. 

While SMU! is Christian based, the single parent does not have to be a Christian to receive help.  We have helped a single mom get a dryer for her new apartment.  We have sponsored a couple of moms to get their legal wills done.  SMU! Has joined with other business owners to give gifts to single moms during a couple of  Christmas seasons. (once in 2014 and then in 2016.)

The Facebook closed groups, one for moms and one for dads, allows the single parents to discuss issues in their lives among themselves and get feedback from other single parents and mentors that I have vetted. 

Just as  the mentors are vetted who are wanting to assist me with single parents, I have a short questionnaire for the single parents wanting to join the closed Facebook groups.  I have had some men trying to join the single moms closed group.  I wonder why?  One guy asked if he could get a single mom here.

I usually ask the single moms if they want to meet face to face so that we can get to know each other better and I can assist in sharing specific local resources with them.  Also meeting the parents face to face, helps them to know that I am a real person and hopefully they will reach out more easily instead of waiting until a real emergency arises.

 

Meeting monthly has not worked yet.  Neither has meeting quarterly but I keep showing up quarterly until the LORD says otherwise.  So as I asked others who were offering their services to single moms I found that they had similar challenges.   So I wrote out some tips that we as individuals could use to build trust with the single parent on the go or the single parent that is stuck. 

 

1) Meet the single parent over coffee or tea for just 15 or 20 minutes on neutral grounds…to meet them one to one.  To befriend them before a crisis happens in their life.   This would also work if a parent have children the same age as the children in the single parent household.  Bringing kids together can serve as a common bond.

For instance, if a guy likes to fish, he could ask a single mom to take her son fishing with his boys.  Or a married lady could offer to take the daughter of a single dad to the movies when she takes her daughters. 

You could even invite the single parents with kids to an outdoor BBQ or church function that is open to everyone. 

I believe this will help build trust… so that before a crisis happens, the single parent has seen you in a relaxed environment and seen how you interact with your own kids. 

2) Another tip for building trust would be when giving to a single mom.  Give without strings attached.  Try not to make her feel obligated afterwards.  If she feels drawn to you after you have given to her, don’t accept her “STRING” .  Do not reciprocate with any emotional pulls towards her.  She may feel connection to you, the giver, which is a natural and feels normal to her.  But it’s gratitude that she is trying to express and she may be more vulnerable, not knowing how to just say thank you without the emotional “strings”.

By keeping your emotional and physical distance, you better aid a good trusting relationship, maintaining a healthy trust level on both sides, really.  Single parents are sometimes more emotional or have more emotional events because of dealing with the children’s other parent.  Unless they tell us, we have no idea of the drama they may be currently experiencing or the lingering wounds that could be affecting their judgement.  So it is up to us to maintain our healthy distance creating healthy boundaries for this new relationship. 

3) If you want to pay a compliment to the single mom or dad, for instance, compliment their clothing or how they handled a matter without flattery.  Compliment not to lower their defenses but to genuinely compliment as a form of encouragement, to lift up the single parent.  BE WHOLESOMELY HONEST AND HAVE HONEST EXCHANGES WITH DECENCY.

If you can’t compliment or give a gift without strings, without wanting something in exchange, hold off on giving a gift.  The single parent already might have trust issues.  And they don’t need more. 

Think of these things, the way you give gifts or help and even complimenting the single parent, like a CLOSED ENDED transaction.  When  gift or compliment or help is given, that’s it.  There is no more.  Think of, “The End”, like at the end of a movie.   If you meant to be kind, leave it.  From more closed ended transactions, the single parent can begin to trust another person on this earth. 

4) Another caution would be, while having a conversation with the single parent, to build trust, we want to make sure the parent is being heard.  We can give opinions or advice.  But let the conversation be two way – a dialogue. The single parent may have a definite opinion about some things, right or wrong.   They would want to feel like they have a say in matters since they feel the brunt of the responsibility for their children’s lives.  We don’t want to railroad them, treating them like second class citizens.

I hope these 4 tips have been food for thought in being able to help a single parent in your life, your community or elsewhere, through relationship –

To build trust

To be wholesomely honest

And to give compliment, gifts and other help, closed ended, with no strings attached. 

If you know a single mom or dad, feel free to have them contact Consulting for Single Parents, a division of Single Moms Unite!, LLC.  If you know of any other resources that would be a help to single parents, feel free to let us know.   

My name is Nek’ka Migel and I founded Single Moms Unite!, LLC dba Consulting for Single Parents, helping single parents to their next level.  I also founded Chaplains for Businesses where I offer spiritual guidance with Christian prayer for Small Business Owners.

Thanks for reading.

 

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How do you protect your children?

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How Do You Protect Your Children?

A little while ago, I went to a Journey to Wholeness session and we were tearing down spiritual and mental walls that have blocked me for some time.  And one of those walls was a lie:

As a little girl, about 2 years old, I was helping my mom and dad move into the next door apartment that had 2 bedrooms.  It was just me and them, before, living in a one bedroom apartment.  I can’t remember the one bedroom apartment.  But I forever remember holding my mother’s garbage can from her bedroom, that I believe was a wedding present that matched their hamper with the attached flip lid.  As a 2 year old, I thought I was happy to be there, helping my parents move from one apartment to the other.  As a two year old, I knew nothing of the impending dangers, abandonment issues or levels of abuse that would occur in the next 5 years.    

In that healing session of Journey to Wholeness  (as a woman in her 50’s remembering that scene as though it were yesterday) all the bad memories came flooding in from the 5 years we lived in that apartment until after I turned 7. 

That day standing in the hallway as my parent held the door open for me to walk in with this garbage can, is forever frozen in my mind.  It was like it was a turning point.  And the truth of the matter, many hurtful things happened after the next sibling came and so forth til the summer my 4th sibling was due and we moved from that two bedroom apartment to the neighboring 3 bedroom townhouse.  (I am the oldest of 6 children.)   I won’t describe the horrid acts of betrayal that happened in that home.  I won’t describe the violence and the abuse.   

So I ask myself this year, in that memory,  “Instead of walking through the open door held by my parent, suppose I had turned and walked down the 3 flights of stairs to find another family to live with?  Could I have spared myself the pain, hurt and agony that was to come?  Or would it have been worse with someone else?”  Though you might be wondering what happened to me at 4, 5 and 6 years old, suffice it to say that I am a survivor. 

And though my past has affected me and influenced me, I am rising above it all.  So with that in mind, have you ever thought about being the protector of the children, even from yourself?  Have you thought about what it means, as a Christian, to raise your children in the the nurture and admonition of the LORD?   

Back on March 2, 2000, I wrote something on the back of an envelope while I was at a prayer meeting: 

RESPECT CHILDREN

1) Idle words:  Are you careless with your words, talking off the top of your head?

No Strife.  And one way to avoid some strife is to talk to them.  Let them know what’s up.  You should explain the rules and expectations so when they get in trouble, and they probably will at some point, they would have heard the rules and expectation beforehand.

2) Ownership:  Do your children have ownership in anything and do you respect that?

3) Generational:  What generational traits are following your children that make them do one thing or another that is not all their fault?

4) Master/servant:  parents to serve their children — children lives matter!  There is a proper place and way to serve your children.  Keep reading.

Honor them… respect their privacy and do unto them as you would want them to do unto you – the Golden Rule.

Support them… congratulate them when they do a job well done.  Help investigate other avenues when they reach a stumbling block.  Attend their sports game.  Encouragement is a form of support as well.

Be encouraging. 

Hold them yet let them go…. There is this thing that happens with a lot of moms of letting their children go in their heart or spirit when the children turn 3 years old.  Don’t do that.  Fight that urge for whatever reason it comes up.  I could feel it happening with my son, and I assumed it was because my husband was always claiming his son as HIS SON.  So I let go.  Then I heard about others around me who did the same thing, and I realized that was not a good thing to do no matter the reason. 

5) Fruits of spirit:  Meekness (gentleness), Humility (humbleness), Love bearing all, Be forgiving.

Unconditional LOVE… is so key. We should love our children without expecting payment of love or kind acts just because we loved them.  It would be nice if they could give unconditional love back to us all the time but is that realistic to expect?

Cherish them… which means being present to them and with them…not distant with your mind elsewhere while you’re with them.  It’s another form of love.

Hold them… most children like some physical touch even if it’s limited.  My baby girl sat on my lap (sometimes) until she was 17, 18 years old.  And even now in her 20’s, she may still occasionally put her head on my shoulder while in church.   

 

How can we protect our children as much as possible if we have let them go in our hearts, spirit and mind?  Both parents can hold a child in their hearts and mind.  Let children make their mistakes and help them if they ask.  Or have an answer of possible solutions when they come to share with you after a mistake. 

Let them grow up…gradually versus making them act and be responsible for things like a much older child or an adult.   I insisted that my children were to be children while they were children.  I tried to shield them from real life heartaches that they did not have to be involved with.  I did speak truth when they wanted extravagance that was not in our current spending plan.  And I would tell them to pray for those things.  They did get many of those things after they were 18 and out of my home, whether it was gifted to them or they bought it themselves. 

So in conclusion of my notes on the back of this envelope, I wrote in 2000,

Respect them

Earnestly Hold them,

Soothingly love them,

Peacefully deal with them without strife.

Eagerly forgive them and encourage them. 

Calmly rule over them… (resist the urge to yell and threaten).

Teach them respect.  There’s nothing wrong with saying yes, ma’am, or no sir, thank you or excuse me.  Manners can take them a long way.

Want a child to learn respect?  Show respect to them.  These have been some hints for how to do just that.  

 

Below are the links to the landing pages to contact me for a one to one meeting or sign up for specific newsletter(s):

Chaplains for Businesses | Consulting for Single Parents | Choose to Succeed Referral Marketing

Clip Art by Nek’ka | watch videos about low cost Legal help then contact me at migel29.legalshield@gmail.com

or here.

Book a one to one session with Nek’ka today, in person or on the phone!

Find me on social media:  my links are below.

Part of my proceeds go to help Single Parents with the resources they need to get to their next level.  Click either box to make your Amazon purchases.

Thanks for Stopping By.

Sincerely and 

In Christ Name,

Nek’ka Migel

choose-to-succeed.org

Join Swagbucks!
You Can Get Free Gift Cards For Shopping, Searching and Discovering What’s Online at Swagbucks.com

 

Find me on Social Media by clicking one of these links:

Follow me on Twitter      Follow me on Instagram

Follow me on Pinterest    Find me on LinkedIn

Follow me on Google Plus    Follow me on Medium 

Watch videos on my YouTube playlist

 Follow Consulting for Single Parents on Facebook

 Follow Chaplains for Businesses on Facebook

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#chaplains #iloveyou #singleparents #iforgiveyou #singleparentsupport #iamsorry #prayer #thankyou #choosetosucceed #hope #encouragement #pray #God #Jesus #healing #nextlevel #bethechange #video #intercession #prayerintercession #chaplainsforbusinesses #protect #respect  #children #Journey #wholeness #session #spiritual #mental #walls #blocked #privacy #boundary #boundaries #goldenrule #encouragement #truth

 

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