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Building Confidence in Kids
Feb 11, 2017
I was just reading a chapter in the book, The Nice Girl Syndrome by Beverly Engel.
p. 224 says, “Confidence is the quality that enables us to trust ourselves–our intuition, our instincts, our abilities, our ideas, and our opinions. It enables us to move out of ourselves and in the world, trusting that we will be safe and capable and that what we have to offer is of value.” It later says that her “confidence level will go up or down depending on how well she is received by others.” And, ” it is hoped….[that] her confidence level becomes more stable and is affected less by how others react to her and her offerings and more by what she thinks and how she feels about her own value.”
Sometimes in Parent/Child relationships, parents sometimes try to conform the child based on the parent’s past, their thoughts and wishes AND THE PARENT’S FEARS!
For instance, if I wanted to be a musician and I wanted to go to college to be a musician yet my father did not think I could support myself as a musician, he would play down the college major of music and try to encourage, strongly encourage my pursuing another degree…because of his fear…regardless of my ability, idea, opinion or confidence in wanting to be a professional musician.
As a single home school mom, I tried to encourage my children in their natural talents and even ideas of talents. When they thought they wanted to work with animals, I took them on related field trips. I volunteered with them in a therapeutic Horse Ranch in Arizona, I drove them to the Veterinarian “daycare” for pets to volunteer…all in an effort to see if they really wanted to work with animals as an adult. That help them to build their confidence in their dreams, abilities, ideas and opinions. I also gave them the freedom to change their mind about that career dream if they felt that God had something else for them. I did not want them to feel stuck after all the hours we put in cleaning out horse stalls and driving them for their volunteer jobs.
In adult relationships, how do we encourage or discourage confidence in our friends, spouses and even business partners and coworkers?
As the person with the confidence, how do we respond to others’ criticisms and comments about our intuition, instincts, abilities, ideas and opinions? Do we let others wear away at our confidence?
I hope your upcoming week of relating to others, attending school, rearing children, working with others as co-worker or a boss will find you encouraging people’s natural talents, allowing them to fail or succeed at their level of confidence in whatever area they choose.
And then…be a safe place for them to talk about their experience and how they might or might not need to change things around. If Single Moms Unite!, LLC can pray with you for yourself and/or your kids, let us know your prayer concerns this week. There may be a child that you know needing just a little boost of confidence that could be a big help to the family! Or you might be or know of a single mom needing a boost of confidence. We can help through prayer! All things are possible with God who gives us wisdom.
Contact us soon!
Nek’ka Migel
Single Moms Unite!, LLC
Encouraging Single moms in Faith, Parenting and Business!
