I remember the first time that I was on stage. I was asked to pray after we sang. I had directed the adult choir to sing and it was time for offering or announcement.
All I had to do was say a prayer. And I couldn’t do it.
I looked to the other leader out in the audience looking for help. She came up on the stage to rescue me by saying the prayer that ended the singing time and started the next part of the church service. That was back in the 90’s.
Today, I have spoken before prisoners and prayed with them afterwards. As of today, I have spoken across the country in numerous churches not only leading them in prayer but speaking to them or leading worship on their stage. I have sung before a few congregations, acapella. So needless to say, my start was not the end of my story.
What do you struggle with? What do you want to do or become?
Will you start somewhere?
Listen to Les Brown as he talks about how anything that’s worth doing is worth doing bad. What he means is that if you have a dream, are you gifted in that area? Do you want to do something more than what you’re doing now? And are you willing to look bad, feel bad and even do bad trying to work towards your dream?
Think about it.
Watch “Les Brown – Use a Warrior Mindset to Win At Life
Nek’ka Niche: Everything I know about Some Things!
So I was angry when I realized that some things I do are for my safety OR for my feeling safe.
Why do people think they know better than you? There are some things we are not going to just get over…at least not right away, probably.
Now I am a woman of Faith, of Christian Faith. I believe any and all things CAN be healed. I believe there is no other name higher than the name of Jesus, including my anxiety, my fears or the PTSD that plagues me sometimes.
But it angers me when people want to take away my safety net and they aren’t there to provide the safety I need or feel I need to go on. It’s like shut up or put up. I don’t mean to swear at y’all. But why, why, why…do imperfect humans presume to know how to help others when they haven’t experienced it themselves?
So case in point: When I pray with people who are on medicines or see doctors regularly, I don’t arbitrarily tell them they should not be taking their medicine or seeing their doctor BECAUSE I DON’T TAKE MEDICINE or go to the doctor. I have in the past; but today, as a rule, I don’t. One of my sayings is that if you don’t have faith to replace that medicine or doctor, with faith for your healing, you should probably keep taking your medicine and seeing you doctor until you can SAFELY let it go.
I am all about natural ways of healing and seeing naturopath doctors. And if I don’t have the same experience as the next person on medicine and visiting their doctor, then I am not the expert in their situation. They are…or someone else is. But I am not.
So my rant today stems from someone knocking on my door unannounced. And they knocked so loud and hard. When I looked out the window, it was a white van with the driver’s door wide open and I couldn’t see the person standing at my door. SCARY! At least SCARY for a person suffering from PTSD. (And people wonder why I don’t want them showing up on my doorstep unannounced!)
So I am going to take further action to make sure that does not happen again in the near future, i.e. alternate delivery address. You can’t stop all idiots. I realize that. Someone else will come and knock on my door and I can’t see their vehicle because it’s parked somewhere else…and we will deal with that situation when it happens.
PTSD is real. We who suffer from it must take steps to eliminate unnecessary frights, scares and things that upset us. For me, I am aware of my limits. And I was pretty frazzled when that DELIVERY man was at my door in his unmarked white van. I have a number of deals going on. And I have appointments to keep today and I might not get to everything…because I realize I am at my limit for stuff, for crap, for nonsense. Again, excuse my swearing.
Dear Soul, who is also suffering from PTSD, take care of yourself. Take extra precautions for those things that wig you out. Knocks on the door bother me. It doesn’t matter who it is. If I am not expecting you, then it’s at least an interruption of my thoughts. Not making excuses. This is me in the Raw.
This is Nek’ka Niche: Everything I know about some things!
Do you ever feel like you are caught in someone’s web? Like being in warm water and all of a sudden the water is boiling?
What would you DO when someone seems to be playing God in your life?
What would you do if your rights were being denied to be an individual person and make decisions as the adult you are? Does this sound like a cult?
Even if it is not, it is definitely cultish behavior. You might find out if there were any controlling situations in that person’s life…if you care to know. Sometimes, when I have prayed for people, I have gotten quicker results when I knew some of the roots to their behavior.
Ladies, I have had men in my life that decided what was right for me, how to dress down to the length of my skirt. And you might ask why I would listen! FEAR.
Fear of them leaving. Fear of being alone. Fear of financial struggles. Fear. But today, I trust God and I don’t fear what man will DO TO me or not do FOR me. It doesn’t stop cultish people from coming into my life.
So hopefully, I will see the signs a little better and a little faster to raise my hand like the singer who said, Stop…in the name of Love. Though my lyrics will probably be, Stop or I’ll… and you can fill in the blank.
As a Christian, we all have the right to hear from God for ourselves. As an adult, we all have the right to make right or wrong choices. Do you ever hear people using maxims, certain proverbs or even scriptures to try to control or manipulate you? What are they fearing?
They might have some fears that cause them to want to control you. I don’t know if you can or if you want to reassure them of anything, but it’s worth a shot…if they are worth the shot. So watch out when people use other sayings to justify their standing, their position or even their reasoning.
Some people have a Cult of One and they are working hard to draw you in, to sign you up for their cult so that they are not alone. Don’t allow yourself to get isolated. Once they have you as their follower, they might not stop with you. Or maybe they will.
When I was in a cult, I didn’t know it. But when they made some grandiose statements to my destiny saying I could not progress in life without joining them, it just didn’t resonate with me so I didn’t join. I just didn’t have a peaceful feeling that they were correct.
Then the next year, I met someone who was the Cult of One. They had lost their previous followers and I was the next fish on the hook. And I got hooked. It took a few years to get out. And I am glad to be out. The brainwashing is still there influencing me some.
But as I study God’s words in the bible, I am able to be more and more free. One thing that I love in life is a two way conversation, a two way relationship. If things always go their way especially for major decisions, you might consider if you are in a cult of one. I am trying to be delicate here only because you who have been affected know what I speak of. But I do not want to condemn you. I want to share knowledge so that the truth you know will set you free. I will say a prayer for you to get out of any organization or cult of one or two or three as soon as you can.
Children can get caught in their parent’s cult. With their parents teaching them personalize doctrines. We don’t use that word when looking into dysfunctional families. But why not? Why not call it what it is and deal with it based on truth and use the tactics to help intervene for innocent parties. Or maybe I am just the naive one in what things like this are called.
I feel for you, dear soul, who are caught in the web. The web of lies and manipulation. My heart yearns to see you free even as I write this and you read this.
One way that I got my mind set free was to read Tyndale Daily Bibles. Reading through the bible everyday set my mind free so much that it was causing problems as the Cult of a few that I was in was slowly losing one of their members: me.
Life was not easy during that time. Eventually, I had the strength and a word from the LORD to move away. It was so subtle, the abusive ways, the controlling manner plus I was naive. Young and Naive.
Anyway, I just wanted to share some of my thoughts today. The stories above are from years and years ago. And as I meet new controlling people, it depends on how controlling they are and how much power they are trying to exert over me that I would call them a Cult of one. And they are probably alone because others have put up with their mess enough that they have said, enough is enough.
If you want to have a personal conversation about getting out of your situation or just to discern if that IS your situation, I would love to chat with you. I do this for a living in consulting with people by offering spiritual guidance, the Christian way.
But for you, dear soul, I will give you a free 15 minute session. Just go to one of my landing pages at the top of this page. One is for Single Parents and the other is for Small Business owners. It doesn’t matter which one. You pick. Just contact me here or on any other social media. See links below.
You can even email me at email@example.com. Thanks for stopping by and I am hoping you are reading this for a friend and that you are free…free… free as a bird! Oh, and I just thought of another book if you know you are in an abusive situation that could help identify situation and also tell you what you do to provoke the situation which might not be easy to hear…but it’s the truth that will set you free. The book is by Lundy Bancroft, Called Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men.
My name is Nek’ka Migel. And that’s what I know about that subject. Nek’ka’s Niche is everything I know about SOME things.
I just found out that discipline is related to self respect, self-esteem and self confidence. I was so shocked to discover this. I don’t know why. But I was.
Some days, I have really good mornings when I wake up before it’s time to go out the door, two or three hours later. Those days that I got up on time and I did my morning rituals, I felt good, at the top of my game, even.
I thought it was obedience to God that was making me feel good and feel at the top of my game or at least close to being at the top of my game. I had no idea that behind that obedience was discipline that was causing me to be able to respect myself and to feel good that day.
I’m currently listening to Brian Tracy’s audiobook, called No Excuses!: the power of self-discipline. Brian Tracy is the one that opened my eyes to discipline being the key to having good self esteem.
Here is a quote from page 34 of Brian Tracy’s book:
“Everyone wants to be successful. Everyone wants to be healthy, happy, thin, and rich. But most people are not willing to pay the price. Occasionally, they may be willing to pay part of the price, but they are not willing to pay the whole price. They always hold back. They always have some excuse or rationalization for not disciplining themselves to do everything that they need to do to achieve their goals.”
I have struggled with keeping my word to myself throughout the week and months prior. I’m aware of it. I know that I need to fix it. But what to do was a mystery to me. I thought I could self-will myself into keeping my word to myself more regularly.
Do you struggle with keeping your word to yourself?
I recently learned, too, that what I do or don’t do in an area of my life or business affects another area. So I am challenged and convicted to work on self discipline. To work on discipline, in general. To raise my self-esteem and self-respect through discipline is important.
What a concept! I had no idea that discipline was related to self-esteem, self respect and even self-confidence. I’m interested in hearing what else Brian Tracy has to say on his CDs because I am just on the first audiobook CD when I became aware of this concept.
This is going to revolutionize my life.
It’s truth! And one thing I always say is to be on the side of Truth. This gives me motivation to be more discipline because I want better self esteem, more self respect and higher self confidence with the help of the LORD, of course. All good gifts do come from the LORD! (James 1:17)
Read the following excerpts from just one webpage on Discipline and Self Confidence.
“There is a close relationship between low self-confidence and lack of discipline. …the importance of following through on your commitments… Whenever you don’t, your self-confidence suffers.
There are reasons people don’t follow through on their commitments but most people avoid even thinking about these reasons. The same pattern of behavior continues and the self-confidence continues to go down.
If we really want to know why we fail to keep commitments, we need to look closely at our behavior.
When we fail to keep our promises, we find reasons to justify our slack behavior. We believe these excuses. But these are not the real reasons we fail to deliver.
The truth is we could keep nearly all of our commitments if we were willing. But we just do not want to pay the price required to fulfill our promises.
Most likely the price involves significant self-discipline. Most people want self-confidence without the discipline.
Most motivational speakers tell us that self-confidence is all about self-belief. They are right. Overcoming low self-confidence is about positive self-belief.
They imply that our behavior doesn’t matter. Say and think positively, they suggest, and we will painlessly go from low self-confidence to being self-confident.
Affirmations are fine but for them to work, we need to follow up the affirmations with action that completely reflects those affirmations. That takes self-discipline.” Read the rest of article by clicking below.
Here is another article from the internet: I googled self discipline and self-confidence:
“The Relationship Between Self Discipline and Self Esteem There is a direct relationship between self-discipline and self esteem.
The more you practice self-mastery and self-control the more you like and value your self. The more you discipline yourself the greater is your sense of self-respect and personal pride.
The more you practice self-discipline the better your self-image. You see yourself and think about yourself in a more positive way. You feel happier and more powerful as a person.
Napoleon Hill said that, “Self-discipline is the master key to riches.”
Let’s look at the definition of Discipline—
Training that corrects, molds, or perfects. Control gained by enforcing obedience or order; orderly pattern of behavior; self-control. No wonder we avoid discipline……we don’t have to do anything we don’t want to.
Right? Say yes…………..
What is discipline?
Doing the things you don’t want to do. Doing something that needs to be done whether you want to or not. It means you have to set things to do daily and you actually have to do them! Someone who sticks with it and keeps going for it regardless of what obstacles lie before them.
Keep your goals in front of you. Review them and update them. Box yourself in. Take away your choices. We have too many choices! Start small.”
I hope this article was helpful to you. Feel free to pass it on and check out more of Brian Tracy’s books. This one was fascinating to me, quite helpful and even painful to listen to parts of it. I am a work in progress. Are you?
My name is Nek’ka Migel and it has been quite enlightening for me to write this article for my betterment. I hope you get some takeaways that you can use.
Do you experience push back on the job or in ministry?
I was just thinking about how people sometimes give you a run around when you want to help. Whether it is helping people or helping in a situation. The experiences I am about to share happened while I was a single stay at home mom. While you are reading them, you may see similarities to incidences in your life or job.
So, what is with the push back? Why can’t people accept our willingness to help them, to genuinely help them? Why can’t people just look at themselves, at what’s being said and examine where they are? What’s with the push back?
Even though I am not perfect, it does not stop me from helping others.
I know that the scripture says that I am to pull the beam out of my own eyes before I can see clearly to cast the mote out of my brother’s eye. (Matthew 7:5) So should I just leave a person in the deep hole they are in while I go and make amends to about 10 people, say 10 “Our Fathers”, and get counseling for a couple of months before I can mention one thing to another person about their issues?
I also understand the scripture that says it is in the spirit of meekness that you go to someone overtaken in a fault to restore them. Going in the spirit of meekness and thinking about yourself, helps you to not be tempted in the same way they were. (Galatians 6:1)
I just wonder, why time and time again, I have had leaders just not accept what I’m saying about a situation before they ask me what’s wrong with me, asking me, “What is the sin in your life?” Do I have to go through this drill before I can mention anyone else’s sin or not so good situation? When I am not confronting the leader but another co-laborer to me, in this instance, what is with the push back?
When someone is in leadership, their mess-ups could affect many people. I really don’t understand the fingers pointing back at me as to what’s in my life that I need to deal with, right as I bring up an issue. I regularly submit myself to Our Father in Heaven for my issues and I wait for God to let me know what I need to deal with. I am willing to deal with those things. People, who know me, know that about me.
So, I don’t understand the deal with the push back from these men and women. I am reminded of at least one of the leaders who was giving me push back about an issue that was affecting other people. I found out a year or so later that this same leader was in sin, himself. So in a way, that makes more sense as to why HE was trying to point the finger at me being a whistle blower, bringing someone else’s stuff to the surface.
Sin consciousness will make you not so hard on sin in other people’s lives. It takes away your boldness sometimes. Sin consciousness might have you say that someone else’s stuff is not that bad. When others are affected negatively and in a needless way, it is still bad. It doesn’t matter how minor or major the issue might be. 1 Corinthians 15:33, says that “Evil communication corrupts good manners”. The Amplified bible says that “Bad company corrupts good morals.”
In another incident, I got a 5 to 10 minute lecture on the issues that I probably have in my life. It was so off topic, it was ridiculous. I could not figure out why I had to go through such harassment to bring an issue to my leader. I was not gossiping to my friend. I went to someone who could do something about it by going to the next person in authority. I can say for this incident, that the not so innocent party was spoken to by the leader after our conversation and the issue was confirmed by the actual (guilty) party. And it was dealt with.
So I think that was the issue with my leader: He thought I was assuming because I didn’t have concrete proof. Yet the conversations that I was having with this individual was proof enough to me. And since he finally admitted fault, yes, there was a fault, I knew I had “guessed” right.
As human beings, we sometimes second guess ourselves. As we get older, we understand different dynamics of life a little better than when we were younger. So all things and all scenarios do not take a rocket science to deduce what is going on in some people’s lives. I am the first to say that I have a lot to learn about people. I believe with the help of the Holy Spirit, I saw through to what was really going on which was later confirmed.
It’s quite the concept and it makes sense that when I talk to others about the bad issues in someone’s life that I will get pushed back because the person I am talking to is in sin and doesn’t want to admit fault or be caught themselves. Maybe, it’s like the golden rule, kind of, in reverse. Since the leader does not want to admit fault, he won’t allow me to blow the whistle on anyone else’s issues or sin. He will try to stop me cold if he can harass me enough or get me to admit a fault of my own which might disqualify me from speaking up, possibly. Or at least get me to back down because I FEEL disqualified to speak at that moment.
…Don’t know if that is their logic.
All I know is that if the leader has a problem, it does not mean I have a current problem that I need him to dig out of my life and heart before I can share a concern. That is not staying on the subject. And if I need help in the future, I can return to talk to my leader about my issues. Although, with the way they are handling my concerns for a co-laborers, I might be hesitant to admit my own weaknesses to this same leader.
So why the push back? If a person really and truly cares about someone, it’s not that they’re perfect. They care. They want better for another person. They want better for the situation and for the people who are being affected by the situation. It’s not saying that the whistle blower is perfect.
It someone had to be perfect before calling attention to a harmful or potentially harmful situation, would there ever be any rebuking? The scripture does not say we have to be perfect (Galatians 6:1). It says we have to pull the log out of our own eyes. It says to go humbly, in the spirit of meekness. We go being aware of our own humanness and shortcomings.
So again, I ask, what’s with the push back?S i n. And sin consciousness. What a sad world it would be if there was no more rebuking in the world. What a sad world it would be.
Some people don’t want to be stopped. Others don’t want to be accused of being wrong. They want to do what they want to do when they want to do it. And no one is going to stop them, so they think.
I have run into people who are running from God. They do not accept the call on their life nor their responsibilities, sometimes. As a Christian, I don’t know how one decides what parts will be Christian and what parts they will compartmentalize into the controls of their own hands. How do you make arbitrary decisions like that? It’s mind-boggling to me.
So my answer to push back is, “What would Jesus do”. If he verbally answered, Jesus would answer with the word of God. So I must do that.
If Jesus reacted, He would react with grace, humbly and sometimes with righteous indignation but Jesus would not stay there, in anger. So I will not stay hurt or in anger.
I believe Jesus would cast down all imaginations and thoughts that operate contrary to the word of God. (2 Corinthians 10:5). So I must not let my mind run wild either on assumptions or untruths.
I believe Jesus would pray for leaders and individuals who were caught in sin and he would guide them in all truth. (John 16:13) And so must I. I would go so far as to pray, 2 Timothy 2:24–25, praying that “God would grant them repentance to the acknowledging of the truth”.
Some people’s eyes are closed or half closed to the truth. Deception is hard to battle on your own when you have been believing a lie for so long. Or when a person is deceived to think that their stuff is not so bad, it can be hard to change or see the truth.
If you have gotten something from this article today, I hope you will clap for it on medium.com. I was so ramped up today when I first wrote this wondering why this situation keeps happening to me. But at last, a friend of mine told me that sometimes things, even bad things, keep happening so that we can form a response to those things.
My name is Nek’ka Migel and writing this story today has helped me to see things more clearly as to why I get push back from leaders and others when it comes to pointing out faults in other people. I thought that others might benefit from reading about my experience. I did not want to name the exact sin since these people are still alive and hopefully they are dealing with their issues. That is my prayer for them.